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.old. .new. .guestbook. .notes. .email.
.profile. .diaryland. .song. .story. .things. .records. .rings. .site. if you can't fix it, you gotta stand it. 2005-09-20 1:04 am Right now I feel like a failure for the first time in a while. I can't figure it out. 'Fast Lane' didn't make the final cut for a fiction anthology, but that can't be it. My car was towed the other day, but I got it back. I threw a party Friday and a bunch of people came even if they did leave early. So what the fuck. I've been sad, like my life has been let loose. I've been focusing on upcoming movies to distract myself. Brokeback Mountain in particular. Obsessing over its potential. Absorbed in the story, in the weight of it. Trying to forget real people. Like I'm unwanted, which I know isn't true. I just can't shake the feeling. I'm supposed to be thinking about what makes me worth it, for therapy. What sets me apart from other potential dates. The only thing I can think of is my smarts. Everything else can be bought or contrived.
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